One of the most painful and traumatic days of my life came in June of 2007. On this day someone very close to my heart passed away, My Father.
You can only imagine all the thoughts and emotions that went through me on this particular day. As I stood there massaging my father’s feet waiting for him to pass, I felt myself literally leave my body. It seemed like every time I needed to remove myself from the emotional energy around me I would simply leave and watch my family grieve from above. This was the first time something like this has ever happened to me. I do believe it was a different kind of connection my father and I had.
When I was going through Massage School, we had to choose a patient for our term paper, and my patient was my father. He had ulcers on the back of his calves that made him very uncomfortable, so around my forth week, when working on his legs I had my palms facing towards his calf muscle about two inches hovering from his skin, and out of nowhere has I concentrated on healing his calf, a white lightening flowed out of both of my middle fingers and directly into his calf! I immediately turned my hands over, shocked, at what I just had experienced! I looked at my father for a reaction and like always he was fast asleep, and never felt a thing. But his legs actually did look better. Who knows, it could of been something in that white light after all!
When my father finally took his last breath another very strange thing had happened. As I was standing at his feet, massaging them. My husband had a hand on each side of my hips and when my father passed, I felt his spirit go right through me, and all the sudden I couldn’t even breathe because the pain was so intense in my chest! I literally had to tell myself to breathe, and has I did I relaxed so much I had seriously tinkled in my pants! My husband had left the room and has I walked out into the hallway to see him, I asked him if he had felt what I did? And he said,” yes, I felt the same pain.” I can tell you this, it was not a good feeling, but if you think about it, is it ever a good feeling when saying goodbye to anyone that we love…
After a few minutes, I went back in the room to give him that final kiss goodbye. I kissed him on the forehead and inhaled his scent, I was like a little kid again, and just couldn’t get enough of how good he always smelled. I know that this might sound strange to some people, but we all have a certain scent that we carry with us, good, bad, or indifferent. Its a scent that may resurface again to remind us of someone we once were so loved by.
Well, now that I just went through a quarter box of tissue, I will close this chapter with a smile from my heart and the warm thought of knowing I will see him again. Whenever, heaven calls.
Until then, love you always.